"they left us something more precious than silver and gold..."

Monday, November 1, 2010

momma said there'd be days like this...

...there'd be days like this, my momma said.

looks comfy doesn't it? i mean who doesn't want to curl up in bed sometimes, throw the pillow over all the worries and just check out for a couple hours! poor little Lu, the candy festives or maybe just life in general, has got her all out of sorts as of late.

yesterday at church, all 36 minutes of it, drained me of what energy i had left from a busy week. cam has to work alot of sunday's and i usually do my best to rush around frantically on sunday mornings, keeping the spirit strong as i play my ipod sunday list and shout at the children & dog above the lyrics...
i knew yesterday was going to be "one of those days" when i ran downstairs in my 3 inch black church high heels to find jilly taste testing some yummy dog food to my aghast...oh yes it got worse...
not noticing she had also spilled the water bowl, i went to snatch her up only to see those beautiful *high heels are so overated* black high heels flying witch like above my head as i slammed on to the nice, cool tile.
gather yourself. you can do this. tight lipped smile, let's go.
onto to sacrament meeting...the tile really had knocked the humility back into me and i knew i could do it today, i wanted to be at church so bad. im eager to meet the new faces in my ward but more than that, i needed to feel the spirit. i needed to belong. things were going rather smoothly when right before the sacrament i noticed lucy had snuck in one of those glow in the dark necklaces from her trick or treat loot. i couldn't have it being twirled about, even if we were back sitting in the chairs. gently explaining, here comes the most important time of our week...here comes our best behavior....i must take the necklace...
oh no. oh no.
it set-in, quickly. limp nooodle. lucy's body lost all proportion. grimaces and snarling. patiently patting her head, bouncing jillian on my lap...i can do this. bread. water. sigh. but here comes the commentary. she just couldn't let it go...i sheepishly "walk" her from the chapel, totting jilly along. savannah stay put...we WILL be right back. back to the back corner of the building we go, i knew in my heart of hearts you could hear her screaming bloody murder for miles. i tried to reason with her for about 7 minutes but my friends, she was too far gone. i wanted to cry.
i kinda wanted to scream too.

life's lessons are profound.
when we think we need something, we sometimes find out,
we need the exact opposite.
when we think all is lost, we need only look into that pair of folded up jeans in the back of the closet, the grocery list IS right where you left it.
when we feel like we need to feel the spirit, we need only to look into the eyes of the ones we love most.
when we feel like we need to belong, we need to remember who we are and who we are becoming in order to be the person that is wanted.

a sweet young woman gathered savannah and my belongings as i packed everyone up and headed back home. lucy slept for 2 and half hours and then came upstairs with a halo "everyone, I AM AWAKE!"

luv to you all.
xoxo
the queen of the nile.

12 comments:

delongnb said...

Cami,

You know I'm feeling you on this one! Let's see...today I've got a house torn apart by weekend visitors, a cranky 3 month old who WOULD NOT go to sleep, and as icing on the cake, I locked my keys in my car at work. You gotta love these days, but it's so good to know that I'm not alone in it!

Love you cuz!
Bethie

Tracie said...

Cam....such an awesome entry. You speak to my heart!

Ming said...

LOVE your costume! Love that you did a spook alley in your garage! LOVE that you thought of me. :)

Sorry you had such a rough Sunday. You're amazing. 2 Sunday's ago Addie threw up all over me (I had to go home and change...that's how much throw up there was) & this past Sunday she had a major blowout during the combined 5th Sunday meeting. People were laughing, one lady followed me to the restroom to see if I needed help. There was a lot of poop! You gotta love those days. I don't know how you do it so often without Cameron. You truly are amazing!

Jamie said...

oh the joys of kids at church. i had better enjoy a nice quiet baby while it last.... it won't be long before i am looking for the back corner of the church :)

Janet and Nate said...

You're the best! Miss you!

Nachelle said...

Awe, sounds horrible, sometimes I guess it is just the way it goes...glad you just headed home :) I have only done a few Sundays without Jay and only have two kids but it does me in, you are so good to do it so often! Miss you guys, hopefully we will see you in December...I am out for the first bit of December though, up in Idaho if you are up there at all :)

Shelli said...

Oh, Cami!! I can so relate to this post. I love the way you write---you create the best mental pics with your sense of humor. Poor little lucy. We still have the melt downs...funny, I had to drag Sadie out after the sacrament last Sunday too. Just too much sugar and not enough sleep I suppose. I need to come see you guys and your new house!!! Thanks for your comment---absolutely, we need to get together...and soon!!! Love ya!

Krista Cook said...

Hi Cam,

I wonder if that was the Sunday I left Sacrament meeting five times, and the fifth, I stayed out to cry. "I swear, I'm trying," I said out loud to myself. Thanks for sharing. P.S. Love the costume.

Love,
Kris

Jaymie said...

o cami.. i loved seeing you this weekend, your always such a blast! i hope i get to see you before you leave!!

Jacqui said...

i bet that tile was cold =)

go mom go said...

All I can do right now is smile and giggle. Sorry, to giggle at your expense, but that was funny! I have a sign in my room that says, "smile, mommy, smile!" Sometimes we just need a reminder. Pat yourself on the back for making it to church...I wouldn't have made it that far!

hEiDi said...

I Love you girl! Especially that little smirk on your face cause you know you look good as the "Queen of the Nile" girl! Yup you just pick yourself up again girl every day no matter what right? And well you have to, especially when you trip while your in them...you poor thing! Anything to make the calves look good right? Road trip in the spring? For shizzle my nizzle! FYI we are moving the last week in March!!!! Love ya sista!