...there'd be days like this, my momma said.
looks comfy doesn't it? i mean who doesn't want to curl up in bed sometimes, throw the pillow over all the worries and just check out for a couple hours! poor little Lu, the candy festives or maybe just life in general, has got her all out of sorts as of late.
yesterday at church, all 36 minutes of it, drained me of what energy i had left from a busy week. cam has to work alot of sunday's and i usually do my best to rush around frantically on sunday mornings, keeping the spirit strong as i play my ipod sunday list and shout at the children & dog above the lyrics...
i knew yesterday was going to be "one of those days" when i ran downstairs in my 3 inch black church high heels to find jilly taste testing some yummy dog food to my aghast...oh yes it got worse...
not noticing she had also spilled the water bowl, i went to snatch her up only to see those beautiful *high heels are so overated* black high heels flying witch like above my head as i slammed on to the nice, cool tile.
gather yourself. you can do this. tight lipped smile, let's go.
onto to sacrament meeting...the tile really had knocked the humility back into me and i knew i could do it today, i wanted to be at church so bad. im eager to meet the new faces in my ward but more than that, i needed to feel the spirit. i needed to belong. things were going rather smoothly when right before the sacrament i noticed lucy had snuck in one of those glow in the dark necklaces from her trick or treat loot. i couldn't have it being twirled about, even if we were back sitting in the chairs. gently explaining, here comes the most important time of our week...here comes our best behavior....i must take the necklace...
oh no. oh no.
it set-in, quickly. limp nooodle. lucy's body lost all proportion. grimaces and snarling. patiently patting her head, bouncing jillian on my lap...i can do this. bread. water. sigh. but here comes the commentary. she just couldn't let it go...i sheepishly "walk"
her from the chapel, totting jilly along. savannah stay put...we WILL be right back. back to the back corner of the building we go, i knew in my heart of hearts you could hear her screaming bloody murder for miles. i tried to reason with her for about 7 minutes but my friends, she was too far gone. i wanted to cry.
i kinda wanted to scream too.
life's lessons are profound.
when we think we need something, we sometimes find out,
we need the exact opposite.
when we think all is lost, we need only look into that pair of folded up jeans in the back of the closet, the grocery list IS right where you left it.
when we feel like we need to feel the spirit, we need only to look into the eyes of the ones we love most.
when we feel like we need to belong, we need to remember who we are and who we are becoming in order to be the person that is wanted.
a sweet young woman gathered savannah and my belongings as i packed everyone up and headed back home. lucy slept for 2 and half hours and then came upstairs with a halo "everyone, I AM AWAKE!"
luv to you all.
the queen of the nile.