"they left us something more precious than silver and gold..."

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

the brink...

i've been thinking about writing this post for a couple weeks now. a high school friend of mine just turned 30 and we exchanged a couple emails around her birthday. we all have up's and down's in life and i don't think she would mind me telling you, she used the phrase "on the brink"...i couldn't let it go and i emailed her back about a couple things, i was "on the brink" about. its been in the back of my mind, almost daily, "what brink am i on today?" and then after a couple recent interactions with friends and acquaintances, i started wondering "what brink are they on?" ...because sometimes in life we interact with people and we really have no idea what they are going through. it may be your next door neighbor, friend at work, sister, the person who seems to have it "all figured out", the lady who told you off at the grocery store, or the guy who just bought your bedset and while taking it apart, cracked it. but the truth is we all deal with brinks, some more publicly than others. i'm so grateful for family, friends, and even strangers who have loved me and understood me as i have gone through different "brinks". not saying that brinks have to be hard times...they can be an assortment of phases of our lives...but i love hearing, sharing, and understanding these brinks because i believe it gives us a better understanding of each other...better opportunities to support each other through both the high's and low's...better moments for us to realize we are never alone in this life and there are people all around us who can relate to us, laugh with us, and empathize with us.
what brink have you been on lately?
if you only knew the brink of this story...
im on the brink of pure happiness as savannah started first grade! yeah she is growing up, i mean her teeth are falling out like the hair on the heads of boys who thought they were cool in high school, quickly! but i love to see her thriving, growing, intensely learning and becoming her own little person.
im on the brink of luving this little chicka so much, i seriously want her duplicated! does that mean i am baby hungry? yes, maybe, no, of course not, is this even your business...okay maybe a little...good thing jilly still has those chubby baby thighs which has been plenty to suffice my appetite but practically kill my back because she is 15 months and still not walking
(but she bear crawls like a champ and it's comical!).
im on the brink of not knowing what to do with lucy, starting around, um...9:05 a.m. monday - friday after Savannah heads off for school. she can hardly stand to be away from her big sister and lucy asks me about every 15 minutes when she is getting home...ive been trying to put together a few activities for her and the other day, she put it nicely
"this is real boring you know!"...
im on the brink of excitement/anxiety/nervous breakdown/awesomeness as i think about moving and living closer to those beautiful utah mountains and to my family! how cool is my sister emily's new basketball hoop! our house here in denver is "sold", under contract, inspection on tuesday, and so things seem to be moving quickly. we are lucky to be able to have cam's company moving us out there but i have still had to go through all of our things...who wants to pack junk and then unpack junk just to throw it away in a different state? so its been great to go through and really simplfy but i am wearing myself thin and possibly losing my mind a bit...my sweet friend mindy came over the other night to help me "go-through" the kitchen stuff and when she put her foot down on my keeping several (many) plastic target fountain drink cups that i save, i knew i had lost it a little bit, so i turned over the reins to hers truly! thanks so much for your help mindy...
(but seriously mindy, "who doesn't love target?")!
im on the brink of wanting to give myself a break, crazy right? lately i just find myself, like i am sure MANY of you, trying to do a "million" things and be a "million" things to a "million" different people. i had a super fantastic time doing another olympic tri with my little sister lindsey a few weeks ago here in denver, but i am ready to veg out a little. im ready to say, "look body i luv ya...yeah you may not be perfect but you look pretty darn good and so does that couch over there". i vow not to do another race or event until i get my family settled in utah and the holidays pass. maybe a half marathon in January?

Brinks, anyone?


Lynsey said...

Oh boy do I understand feeling on the brink. This whole summer for us has been a series of brinks, some good and some not so good but all learning experiences. I am currently on the brink of sending Joseph to school and having withdrawls and excitment all at once. Hope all goes well with your move. :)

Ming said...

I am on the brink of losing my friend and NOT happy about it!!!!

Thanks for the shout out. I'll be doing more regulating tomorrow. :)

Best line of this post: "like the hair on the heads of boys who thought they were cool in high school"


Angie Ora said...

I'm on the brink of ripping off these skinny jeans and digging out my old JNCO's!!

J/K on the skinny jeans. If I could wear them, I might but I can't so I'll say they are ugly.

Besides being on the brink of the named depression, I also feel that I'm on the brink of some amazing miracles. Besides being on the brink of wondering when a different face starting showing up in the mirror and wondering how I can slow that down, I'm also on the brink of rejoicing that I've had 30 years of experience and lessons and I feel more powerful and strong and beautiful than I ever have before. Love you Cam!

Sarah said...

Cami, I love this post. I love giggling about the brink behind that mt. pleasant pic. And oh my goodness, the visual of Troy Badger and his hair falling out is too much !!! lol.

Ang, love the skinny jeans comment. Personally, I love you in JNCO's.

As for brinks...I too appreciate knowing and reminding myself that we are all there at one time and another. That most seemingly perfect people still feel stress and fatigue and depression and anxiety.

Personally, I am on the brink of being one tired primary president who cannot seem to get it all together. Dealing with people on such a unique level, sometimes you ask yourself "seriously?" but then I am reminded that each person is on some sort of brink of their own and I need not judge.

Motherhood may be one large brink, huh? I am mom to three wonderful little people :) bless their hearts.

An acquaintance who just lost her first child in a drowning accident has been an inspiration to me as of late. To love my kids. To take time to play. To enjoy being on the brink because you just don't know how long you'll get to be there. Lately, her words have run through my head "I can do hard things" and so I stand on my brink knowing that. And that makes it ok.

love you Cam.

Cath said...

I lost your blog link for a while when I re-vamped the look on mine. So glad to be back! This is a fabulous post Cami. "On the brink" - I thin I've been on the brink of losing it completely the last two weeks. Hard weeks. Hubby gone all the time, kids exhausted, me crazy and tired of doing it alone. But we're backing away from the brink, doing better. You make so many good points in this post. Mainly, I just want to say - you are AWESOME! And you deserve a break. You deserve to veg out. And I wish you huge blessings as you leave your CO home and head to the beehive state. Can't wait to have you closer, but I know change is tough, packing up is hard, saying goodbyes - hard too. Thinking of you! xoxo