the brink...

i've been thinking about writing this post for a couple weeks now. a high school friend of mine just turned 30 and we exchanged a couple emails around her birthday. we all have up's and down's in life and i don't think she would mind me telling you, she used the phrase "on the brink"...i couldn't let it go and i emailed her back about a couple things, i was "on the brink" about. its been in the back of my mind, almost daily, "what brink am i on today?" and then after a couple recent interactions with friends and acquaintances, i started wondering "what brink are they on?" ...because sometimes in life we interact with people and we really have no idea what they are going through. it may be your next door neighbor, friend at work, sister, the person who seems to have it "all figured out", the lady who told you off at the grocery store, or the guy who just bought your bedset and while taking it apart, cracked it. but the truth is we all deal with brinks, some more publicly than others. i'm so grateful for family, friends, and even strangers who have loved me and understood me as i have gone through different "brinks". not saying that brinks have to be hard times...they can be an assortment of phases of our lives...but i love hearing, sharing, and understanding these brinks because i believe it gives us a better understanding of each other...better opportunities to support each other through both the high's and low's...better moments for us to realize we are never alone in this life and there are people all around us who can relate to us, laugh with us, and empathize with us.

what brink have you been on lately?

if you only knew the brink of this story...

im on the brink of pure happiness as savannah started first grade! yeah she is growing up, i mean her teeth are falling out like the hair on the heads of boys who thought they were cool in high school, quickly! but i love to see her thriving, growing, intensely learning and becoming her own little person.

im on the brink of luving this little chicka so much, i seriously want her duplicated! does that mean i am baby hungry? yes, maybe, no, of course not, is this even your business...okay maybe a little...good thing jilly still has those chubby baby thighs which has been plenty to suffice my appetite but practically kill my back because she is 15 months and still not walking

(but she bear crawls like a champ and it's comical!).

im on the brink of not knowing what to do with lucy, starting around, um...9:05 a.m. monday - friday after Savannah heads off for school. she can hardly stand to be away from her big sister and lucy asks me about every 15 minutes when she is getting home...ive been trying to put together a few activities for her and the other day, she put it nicely

"this is real boring you know!"...

im on the brink of excitement/anxiety/nervous breakdown/awesomeness as i think about moving and living closer to those beautiful utah mountains and to my family! how cool is my sister emily's new basketball hoop! our house here in denver is "sold", under contract, inspection on tuesday, and so things seem to be moving quickly. we are lucky to be able to have cam's company moving us out there but i have still had to go through all of our things...who wants to pack junk and then unpack junk just to throw it away in a different state? so its been great to go through and really simplfy but i am wearing myself thin and possibly losing my mind a bit...my sweet friend mindy came over the other night to help me "go-through" the kitchen stuff and when she put her foot down on my keeping several (many) plastic target fountain drink cups that i save, i knew i had lost it a little bit, so i turned over the reins to hers truly! thanks so much for your help mindy...

(but seriously mindy, "who doesn't love target?")!

im on the brink of wanting to give myself a break, crazy right? lately i just find myself, like i am sure MANY of you, trying to do a "million" things and be a "million" things to a "million" different people. i had a super fantastic time doing another olympic tri with my little sister lindsey a few weeks ago here in denver, but i am ready to veg out a little. im ready to say, "look body i luv ya...yeah you may not be perfect but you look pretty darn good and so does that couch over there". i vow not to do another race or event until i get my family settled in utah and the holidays pass. maybe a half marathon in January?

Brinks, anyone?

its official...

it's official...we are moving to utah county!!! cam's starts his job with IHC oct. 1st! we are super excited! we just got back from a three week hiatus for family reunions...we are so excited to live closer to our families!

dad, mom & emily after we told them the BIG news!

LOL em, luv it!

who doesn't luv the 4th of july...rootbeer, watermelon, playing with cousins, sunshine, fireworks, the provo parade, fun at the swimming pool, freedom run 5k race, matching 4th t-shirts for the grandkids, ...i luv it.

luv my sisters, missed you j-bird!

after the freeze reunion we headed up to island park for the kesler reunion...this year we bunked at a bigger cabin but docked by day at the "historic" kesler cabin on the waterfront. it was really fun to stay at the bigger cabin...there was enough room for gatherings for this big family (18 grandkids under 8!). we had some great times..."WIN it in a MINUTE", annual island scavenger hunt, family feud, "crap" on your neighbor - with consequences: why do i lose when it is jumping into the lake at midnight, "HOT SEAT", family birthday party, & if you want to laugh, check out this VIDEO!

here's to the great outdoors...

lots of skiing & water front time...

kids water obstacle course with rewards!

vanny's first time up on 2...

"linked IN love"!

annual hike...big springs nature walk

somebody was in heaven...

all the families did a really amazing job at focusing the adult games around the kids as well...vanny doing the WIN it in a MINUTE cup game...

oh the memories...

family birthday celebration!

lots of cousin time!

cam's early morning obsession...

we luv you freeze & kesler fam...

so happy to be a part of both!

fifa! fifa! fifa! SOUTH AFRICA

we went to south africa at the beginning of june...it was an amazing experience and i could post a million pics (well at least 1000, that's how many we took!) but i tried to pic my top ten favorites of the trip! we got the invite to go with my sister emily and her husband matt...they had bought tickets for the world cup, england vs. usa game, and gave us two tickets! they say a picture is worth a thousand words, but i say these pictures can't even begin to explain the impact this trip had on us.

#1 the fifa world cup! wow it was so amazing to be apart of a world phenomenon! futbol/soccer is on a different level overseas...its a culture, its a way of life...to some it is life. as intense as it looks on tv, multiple by a thousand and yes those vuvuzela horns are LOUD! it was so interesting to drive through towns and see all the little kids in bare feet kicking their soccer balls around...almost like from a movie or a documentary you might have seen. the usa vs. england game was crazy cool...i luved the singing of the national anthem, watching the little kids walking in with the players (their dream come true i'm sure!), the cheering, the celebrating...a sporting event i will never forget...it rocked my world and i luved every minute of it (even walking with emily after the game and meeting some new friends from england..."yes we knew you were americans straight away" :)!

#2 okay so i know this picture isnt amazing scenery or some cool wild animals but it has a point. this was my first time oversees and cam, em, & matt kept making fun of how "american" i am...begging for ice at every dining place we went to ("just fill the whole thing up with ice, okay...do you get it? the whole cup, fill it up!), ketchup - do you have it? i need it!, mustard for my soft yummy german pretzels...yeah, what can i say...im proud to be an AMERICAN and i also really luv ice.

#3 we were able to go to church one sunday in a small branch in rustenberg. we also drove up to the johannesburg temple one morning...would have luved to go inside but it was monday, and it was closed. its such an amazing feeling knowing that i can travel anywhere in the world and find the church of jesus christ and walk in and feel instantly at home, instantly safe, and instantly close to god. sacrament is always a time to reflect and as i sat there that sunday morning, i observed no cheerios flying during sacrament, no fighting over toys, people falling asleep, or kiddos begging for bathroom breaks. the members were intently listening, learning, and sharing their testimony's. they were sweet and welcoming. examples. humble and close knit.

#4 the food...um awesome! one of my favorite dining experiences was the african cafe where we had true africa cuisine. the dinner started with the host washing our hands, and then we ate the meal with out hands. another favorite was the codfather...where we walked up to the counter, picked out fish & they cooked it right there. we also had fresh fish-n-chips, german weinerschnitzel & pretzels, steers hambugers & carmel dipped cones!

#5 holding a baby cub, 2 months old, was a pretty surreal moment...they were so cute & "so little" but you could already tell how strong they were. our safari at the lion park was awesome...a group cancelled so it was just us 4 with our tour guide, helga. one of the highlights, at least for her, was seeing hyena's mating (i didnt post pics because i didnt want to scare anyone or cause nightmares like i had for weeks) she kept saying "if you only knew HOW RARE this occasion is, you wouldnt believe how lucky you are...please take pictures so i can show the workers back at basecamp...sooooo lucky, you just dont know!" watching the lions stroll and then run along our vehicle was pretty amazing...we saw alot of other animals...ostrich, giraffe, wild dog, wildebeest, and on and on.

#6 watching the boys jump into the atlantic ocean...they were bound and determined to check this off their list...dont even get me started on matt's obsession with swimming in the persian gulf! they were red when they came out! the beaches were beautiful, would luv to visit SA in the summertime!

#7 it was like being in first grade, going on a field trip to the zoo but actually being able to do the things you wanted to do! riding & feeding these elephants...was so fun! cam was in luv with our elephant, sharu. it was interesting getting to talk with our guide as we rode..."you know it's true what they say, it's everyone's dream to come to america...i sure would luv to see those waves in los angeles."

#8 touring...robben island (where nelson mendela was incarcerated...the boat ride out was an adventure in itself - scary!), the cape of good hope, penguin nesting beach, table mountain...each place touched me in different ways. south africa is so beautiful and has so much history. you can see it in their smiles. yet they have and continue to struggle so severely, it seems almost unbearable to me. we continually saw large groups of men, standing on corners...the employment rate is 45%. beautiful women walking along the streets carrying their babies with bath towels wrapped around them and usually 4 or more children following behind.

#9 yes if you look closely, that is a baboon breaking into that car. we were driving along the coast and kept seeing these signs that said "watch out for baboons". we were kinda laughing about it but then we turned a corner and saw a group of 20! matty & i braved it and got out and took pics, but these guys were the real deal and it was a little scary...i dont know what those other people were thinking...it was almost like a set-up by these little baboon family...the group was taking pictures of the mom & baby when out of no where this huge fellow came, jumped on the car, opened the door, and bolted out the other side and down the raven. people went nuts and the other baboons ran down the raven after their hero...we drove up and said, what did he take and the guy responded "he stole me biscuits!"

#9.5 this really doesnt count as a whole because it wasn't south africa and we were there for less than 24 hours...we flew through dubai and stayed there overnight. i know dubai has been getting alot of hype in the tourism industry but being there made me feel farthest from home, than i have ever felt in my life. we went up to the tallest building in the world, the burj khalifa & the biggest mall in the world, both were very impressive! our flight home from dubai was truly the worst expereience in my life but i dont have the time or energy to write about it...

#9.75 okay now im just being ridiculous but being with cam for 10 days was so fun! my sweet cousin kristine flew in to watch the girls for us...couldn't have done it without her! luv you kris!

#9.9 really...im almost done but i had to show a pic of the binder...when ever we travel we always put together a binder that includes all our itinerary, history on the places we are going, etc. emily was an amazing travel agent and everything went off without a hitch (except maybe that stick shift car, right em!).

#10 here's to you south africa..."a promise is a promise", beautiful blue skies, "robots" - aka stoplights, stacked dozen of eggs - not refrigerated - in all the petrol (convenient) stores, lots & lots of smoking!, horrible traffic & construction, friendly people, cool music...we luved it, still water, soccer insanity, really nice malls - which we thought was odd, small cars & lots of speeding & no cops in sight...ever, the franka bed and breakfast, counting your blessings & really realizing what freedom means, driving through beautiful beach bays with million dollar mansions and then turning the corner and being in the dirtiest-poorest living conditions imaginable...there really was no middle class, to the fools going down that steep hill on their skateboard & watching one wreck right before our eyes, kit kat bars...people there were obsessed with them, speed bumps in the middle of the highway, to camp town - i heart you!, and to pieces of history & moments that will be with me forever.