luv. luv. luv.

i had the girls pictures taken over valentine's weekend and just got them back...pretty cute. i had them taken here...

i'll admit...it wasn't looking good...

so i pretty much wanted to punch march in the face for the first two weeks...let me explain...i just got off my birthday "high" (refer to picture below)...

and it was like bam...march is here to rock your world and bring you to tears :) okay so i am a little dramatic but seriously, it's been rough. i had two nursing exams i had to take at the beginning of the month...they are these new "speciality certifications" and it's like you are in college all over again. studying, anxiety, irritable bowel, sweating, etc. bottomline i failed one miserably and passed the next one. it hurt bad and ill have to re-take the other one in the fall but what can i do...i just found myself really overwhelmed and frustrated...does anyone out there feel me? it's like i am trying to be 20 different things to 20 different people all with a smile on my face and an A+ by my name. and sometimes i just feel like no one understands. i feel like "hello, anyone out there? anyone else want to scream to the top of thier lungs? anyone else want to eat this whole carton of ice cream in one sitting while watching biggest loser? anyone else out there want to be able to give their opinion and have people respect? hello, hello are you there?" it blew up on me. i am so lucky and blessed and extremely fortunate to have people close to me that give me great advice, listen to me, and remind me why i shouldn't be so hard on myself. i luv you guys and i know you know you who are. so i went back to the basics and march really did turn around for me...

...i just luved this picture of lucy...she always makes me smile...

...and my little jilly bean who let's just say...is perfect!

my sweet, sweet cousin bethie drove from iowa with her husband and little lily to visit us for spring break! i have so many fun memories of growing up with my cousin beth...playing school & pretend for hours in grandma's basement, terrific tuesdays, rice cakes :), riding bikes, 4th of july's, school projects, piano playing...the list goes on and on. we had so much fun while they were here...

one afternoon we took the kids to this big bounce house...i don't know who had more fun...the kids or cam & me! little lily was going down the big slide all by herself before the end of the afternoon!

we went to some great parks, this is my favorite one in greenwood village, it has a tree house, a slide that starts at the top of a hill and slides down into the playing area, among other things! the girls wore their matching st. patty's day tshirts! we had a great time together...made some yummy meals, introduced beth & noah to whole foods, enjoyed noah's yummy peanut butter popcorn, lots of talking & laughing, beth helped me plan savannah's birthday party!, and just luved being together!

*also had a quick weekend visit from janae and her fiance! sterling...don't you just luv, luvbirds! we are so happy for them...it was great getting to know sterling and we know they are a perfect match!

savannah turned 6...don't know how that happened but i luv her and luv watching her grow. im proud of the little girl she is...she is a great big sister, truly a helper to me, sensitive, energetic, thoughtful (last night we were reading a story on easter and as we talked about the crucifiction...i paused a little and she let out a sigh and said "i just can't believe they would do that to him."), she is loving, she is a good bike rider, luves her couins, makes her bed every morning, she luvs to "workout with me", a great reader, i luv her funny faces & beautiful eyes.

she had a pizza & swim party with some of her closest friends...she even jumped off the diving board for the first time!

she'd been eyeing this cake for awhile now and when i asked her what she wanted for her birthday...all she said was this barbie cake! lol. *bethie, it was worth it right!?!?!

i luv you vanny j.

things just kept getting better! i drove with the girls home to utah for savannah's spring break...although the drive was dreadful and exhausting for numerous reasons...i made it and it was worth it! i sure luv my mom...talking with her, spending time with her, watching her favorite shows with her! i luv her spirit and her laugh. i cant wait to live closer to her.

vanny had another birthday celebration when we got to utah...she got all the princess barbies from her aunts, nanny & poppy.

a birthday breakfast and the one & only birthday check from her "great"!

a build-a-bear trip with her nanny & cousins!

other spring break happs:

having poppy pull a loose tooth, #3!

jilly cuddling with uncle chris, doing patty-cake for everyone, and working on her crawling...

cousin time..."nothing can split us up" lol

being part of the walbruch neighborhood easter egg hunt...we hear about it every year and this year we made it! a family in their neighborhood puts in on every year and it's like halloween without having to go door to door, it's AMAZING!

kites, stuffed animals, stickers, cute purses...

aunt linny helping lu...

luv those mountains!

luv these girls!

a movie afternoon...

spending an afternoon with my friend summer...check it out we had a total of 7 girls with us at the park!

i also got to hike the "Y" in provo when i was home with summer. it is one of my favorite things to do in provo and brings back so many memories for me. i luv the view from the top...thanks march for bringing me back to the top!

thirty.

well my friends, 30 crept up on me like a wedgie when you jump from a 20 foot platform into a cool blue fresh waterpool..out of no where. i mean, i knew it was coming...but i swear it can't be true. and why does everyone that is in there 40s & 50s laugh at me, like "oh honey, you are just a young little thing...you don't even have a clue". i guess they are right...they usually are. im actually starting to look forward to the 30s..."thirty, flirty & thriving" right. "30s are the new 20s" right. but mostly i am looking forward to being more sure with myself. to realizing that i don't know everything, like you think you do in your 20s, and being okay with it. to being happy with this stage in my life and not taking it for granted. to life...and all that comes with it...things aren't perfect and most the time aren't easy but that is life...learning and growing...letting go...being happy...being a good friend...crying when i need to...keeping my body strong...worrying about & judging only myself & my actions...not being afraid to try new things, meet new people, ask for forgiveness, voice my opinion, listen to others opinions, keeping my priorities straight and just being the best i can be.
...ps seriously why am i plugging my nose in this picture...

just got back from a little vaca with cam to kauai (literally left a few hours before the whole tsunami warning for the hawaii islands). it was perfect. and peaceful...and everything "p" you can think of...pineapple, papaya, parachutes, private, passion fruit shaved ice, paradise...priceless. we all have moments in our life when we need a break and let me tell you...i needed one. i know you are like "who does that chick think she is bragging about going to hawaii" and don't get me wrong, i am bragging...but we all need a little get-a-way sometimes, as mom's and women i think it is something we deserve...we have alot of responsibilities in many different areas and ways. whether it is an afternoon by ourselves, a good workout, time to read a book, working on a project we have been trying to get done, spending time with a best friend or sibling or our moms, forgetting about household chores & just watching a movie with our kidos or our favorite tv show...i am going to try a little more to remember to take little "get-a-ways" to help me be a better mom and person in general.

little turtles, saw these guys everywhere...(looks like a rock on the bottom right hand corner)

hiking to private beaches with cam...he was a great tour guide.

i luv boogie boarding but these waves at brennecke beach were no joke. let's just say if you were hanging on the beach...you would have been watching an america's funnest videos of me because i kept getting hammered...literally the last time i went down, i had given up and was walking in and didn't even think about it and this wave cut me off at the ankles. bu-bye it said.

you'd think we'd sleep in because we were on vacation but i couldn't help sleeping with the sliding glass door open and almost every morning would sneak out onto the balcony around 5:30 am and cam would soon come join me.

queen's bath...a beautiful, secluded snorkeling area but obviously the waves were too outrageous for us to snorkel that afternoon.

ive secretly always wanted to skydive but never thought i would have enough guts. when we booked our trip a few weeks ago, without cam knowing i looked up skydiving in kauai and booked it! when i told cam, he was on board (but later told me he wanted to throw up when i told him LOL!). it was literally a freaking amazing experience and i still can't believe i did it! i didn't tell anyone until after i did it because i didn't want to psyche myself out. i was pretty calm & cool until the little beater of an airplane took off...it was the pilot, me, cam & our two skydive instructors. when the plane took off i got major nervous and cam was talking me through it...and the instructors were laughing (no joke, they were!)...it was funny because cam went first and when i saw him drop like a fly after getting snapped by a flyswater, i started repeating "no! No! No! no!!! NOO!!!!" before i knew it, i was flying like a bird! never felt anything like it in my life. something i will never forget. the video they took is so priceless. then when we landed i was talking to mike (my instructor) and i said, "man i started freaking out when i saw cam drop...didn't you hear me!" and he said "all i heard was...go! go! GOOO!" lol.

i luved driving by this "gum drop" tree as i named it...right before we would enter the tunnel of trees road.

funny...we went on this kayak, zipline safari and when you get a group of tourist together, it always makes for an interesting case. the lady in the back ground to the right of this picture was...well let's just say...buggin.

things i luved...morning runs. the air - i wanted to bottle it up & the smells...oh the yummy fresh smells. my massage in the cabana that my sisters & mom & dad got me for my birthday. sunsets. all the waterfalls. our jeep. the ukulele music we bought & listened to over and over all week. the bed in my room & the lady that made it every day :) the roosters running loose all over the island. relaxing. seeing the girls faces when we got home.

ok i know this is long, but look i only turn 30 once. so if you're bored, i won't be offended but just for the heck of it...here are 30 things you may not know about me, in no particular order:

1. i have never traveled outside the US (unless you count Canada...does that count??)

2. i know every word to the rap song Regulators...

i memorized it in high school, something i am not proud of but anyhoo "mount up"

3. i always sleep with the window open..even in the winter.

4. i have done some things i have regretted but i think it has made me a stronger person and taught me valuable lessons.

5. i do not like cereal...probably because i lived on it in college, now it makes me gag. milk in general (unless it is creamed into ice cream!) makes me gag.

6. i have weird moles.

7. i really do luv being a labor & delivery nurse.

8. i always have ideas for projects, i am never bored.

9. i always think of something clever to say back to someone who says something dumb...but its usually too late to say it.

10. i talk to all 4 of my sisters & my mom daily. i am obsessed with them.

11. dry sol was the best invention in my 20s.

12. i think i have a selctive memory...people will say "do you remember that time" "or remember when you did this" and i usually laugh and nod and have no clue.

13. i really wish i knew who stole my minivan when

i was in high school.

14. i have a tender heart.

15. i know i can be obnoxious and loud.

16. im obsessed with bath & body works.

17. i keep a journal.

18. i luv to quilt.

19. i talk in my sleep...and can't be woke up...without a weird freak out reaction.

20. i am always putting up little sayings on my fridge or on mirrors or on any walls...ive done this since i high school.

21. i am not good at decorating.

22. i make fresh salsa every week.

23. my hair has turned into a friz ball the more kids i have had...it is really kinky curly & is a beast to flat iron.

24. i have had my house broken into. my car broken into. my garage broken into.

25. i luv gummy candy. hence countless cavities.

26. i sometimes freak out...but it's usually when i haven't had something to eat in awhile or when i am tired. excuses right?

27. i hate when people make excuses. lol.

28. i luv painting my nails.

29. walking through nordstrom always makes me feel better. even if i don't buy anything. it's just pretty. and organized. and everyone is smiling.

30. i am not afraid of dieing. not in a weird morbid way. but the thought really doesn't frighten me.