lasagna. and such.

....yes, all these pictures are uploads from my cell phone.

no touch-ups, no special lighting.

i am pathetic.

i made lasagna back in the year 2000. right after cam and i got married. it was my mom's famous recipe...i don't know how i screwed it up, but i did. i swore it took me like 5 hours to make / cook. it tasted like cardboard. i threw the whole thing out. i vowed never to make lasagna again. i havent. until last month. my sister-in-law, you can call her Eve or SJ...she will answer to both :), swore on a "No-Fail" lasagna recipe. ive been cooking it ever since. probably cooked 10 lasagnas in the past two months...for my family, for my extended family on sunday, for a neighbor and for a young womens activity.

call it perspective or perseverance or just a really good recipe but sometimes in life you gotta take a step back, you gotta look at things from another person's point of view, forgive yourself, never give up, and enjoy the goodness in life - don't give up on it just cause it sometime taste like cardboard. these past couple months have been busy, ya know the madness and craziness of life. all of you can relate. but a dear friend moved to a state that i am not even sure where it is located in the US (yes you heid...where is iowa again?) and another is moving from Utah back to san diego and i can't help but luv blogs because they help me keep in touch with all the special people in my life. i luv reading and seeing your pictures...

here's a little update of my cam2 life...

i don't know who this child is. it certainly can't be my little jilly...i can't believe she will be 2 in may...how did her legs get so long...

lu...there are no words. i luv this girl to pieces.

st. patty's day rocked. thought of the lind's & edgington's :)

lucy & savannah were sick the whole month of february...this is no joke. savannah will have her tonsils & adenoids taken out in two weeks :/

a fun girls weekend to salt lake city with the kesler girls...a three hour excursion in IKEA, a session at the Draper temple, delicious food at Cheesecake Factory, some shopping, awesome tours on Temple Square, a brisk walk with M.L.K, and of course "Who's Terri?"

THREE ski days with cam in ONE month. beautiful, beautiful weather. the best company ever. park city. brighton day. brighton night.

spring you are so close...i won't give up on you. i will continue to walk and run and beg for your arrival...you are so close!

tell me she doesn't make you laugh too?

savannah j. turned 7. sigh. she got a trampoline. best investment we have ever made. the girls are oBseSSED! i had a fun date night with her at the Salt Lake Real soccer game...just me and Vanny. luv her. a little bff. funny. silly. sensitive. smart. strong.

been working on a quilt...i figured since i couldn't go to hawaii this year with emily and my mom (who are going in ONE WEEK :( that i would instead make a hawaiian quilt...pathetic again right. its taking forever but i refuse to put the card table away so it is sitting in my front room...totally a mess and i sew a square any spare moment i can. lucy is a great helper!

so many reasons to luv this photo...i was at my wits end, cam had been working a 24 hour shift. it was sunny outside - THANK YOU SUNSHINE - but it had been a LONG day...didnt want to cook so i headed to iceburg, but along the way there was a neighborhood girl selling snowcones so we bought one for everyone...my little niece ellie was having a sleepover. so we were waiting in the drive through and the car was full of pandemonium...jilly had a bloody nose and was screaming blood murder because she wanted her own slush, savannah was crying because she was sick of sharing her slushee, a fire truck was going by so ellie and lucy were laughing and screaming at the top of their lungs...and me, i was just taking it all in...moments later...

have i mentioned i luv utah.

and i luv waking up to lucy snuggled in my bed.

jilly is everywhere and into everything at all times of the day in all different ways. be afraid be very afraid.

and a very fun visit from my niece morgan from denver...so luv you morgy! swimming at the rec center...

and then there is me...depressed after the byu loss and to put a knife in my back, the duke loss. jimmer it was fun. duke, obviously you will be back in full effect next year...no doubts. march i luv you.

and to my life, i luv the madness.

luv / hate relationships.

well since it is february and its all about LUV (and my birthday, which of course most people will forget because it is not a leap year this year, if you are wondering...this is a HINT, don't forget me!)...i thought i would share with you some of my luv / hate relationships...

- old navy. cute kids clothes, right??!! but why is it that either:

#1. everytime i buy something on sale, i go to the register and it doesn't ring up on sale and i have to tell the cash register girl and she changes it or she says nope, you must have been looking at the wrong sign (even though the outfit was literally sitting on top of the sign).

#2. so i go ahead and buy the kids clothes and then 24-48 hours later, everything is on-sale...a good 30-40% off (yes i know i can take my receipt back and get the difference, but another trip...). anyways, it leaves me confused and hatin.

- cooking.

man, i get in these phases where i am a rock-star...trying new recipes (mostly only those who have been successfully attempted & made by my fabulous sisters or sister-in-laws) and even making a few recipes ahead of the game and freezing them in the freezer. but then it just gets buggin sometimes and i get in a rut...you have to BUY it and PREPARE it and SERVE it and CLEAN it up and so on and so forth. it's literallytiring thinking about it and i mean if someone asked me what is the most annoying question you can think of, my answer just might be:

"what is for dinner?" AHHHHHHHHHHH. help me.

but then j. cam's skills are minimal and i can only survive on a few nights of eggs & cinnamon toast or frozen pizza, so back to the kitchen i go because i really do luv to cook, the way you feel after you serve a yummy meal, and to have fun convo at the dinner table.

- cell phones.

i luv my cell phone, um lUv. it saved me in san diego when i could talk endlessly to my sisters and mom when i was going through a hard time & not able to travel home much. it allows us to keep updated so easily and quickly with one another. it's fun. the apps, let's not even start right...they are ridiculously cool and creative and unbelievable.

but last week when i was coaching a young women's basketball game and when the girls subbed in and out of the game, they went right to their cell phones when they were on the sidelines, my eyes started opening a little. i thought, what are they doing?...but then, mostly, i started asking myself the same question...what am I doing? how much am i "into" my phone. how many days of the week do i check that phone first thing in the morning, before i do anything else. it can be consuming. then, a couple nights ago i watched extreme makeover: home addition and i took this pledge...im embarrassed to say that i have texted while driving, ive entered an address into a gps while driving. sometimes the things we luv can become the very things we hate if we let them consume us.

- people watching at the gym

...it's fun...it's sometimes funny...it's interesting...it's sometimes inspiring...i feel lucky to have one so close to my house, i got a super slick deal on my membership & it includes daycare (holla!), it's an adequate alternative to the great outdoors in the dreary winter months...BUT

im freaking out lately...it's like i go to the gym and i must be going at the wrong times because there are hardly any open treadmills, workout equipment in general (except for the lame stuff nobody wants, you know what i mean) and then i look at the peeps on the treadmills and they are on their cell phones (*see luv / hate comment above...), laughing and chit chatting to their neighbor at 2.5 speed, continuously putting their hair (and by hair, i mean extensions) up and down from a pony tail...i want to yell "hello people, either start kicking your trash or get off the machine so i can start kicking my own...its called a workout & time is precious." okay that was kinda harsh and slightly rude but don't worry because it bites me in the hiney everytime i think those things because i usually end up right next to the person with ripe b.o.

i'd LUV to hear about your luv / hate relationships...or can you relate to any of mine...

do you text when you drive?

i don't anymore. i even talked to my girls about it, so they will help by also not bothering me so much when i drive (with changing dvds, treats, yelling, etc).

? do you want to take the pledge, click here.

what's your favorite recipe right now?

lately i have been obsessed with soups (they are easy andi can throw them in the crock pot...my sister lindsey has a killer white chicken chili recipe, let me know if you are interested).

where do you like to shop for kids clothes?

i usually shop at target & old navy. i always hear people getting great deals at macy's (yes, you nachelle), where do you get the best deals?

do you usually end up next to the person with b.o.?

yes, 50% of the time.

I put this at the bottom, in hopes you would read that whole post :)

MINDY & SARA

your books are ready for you!!! i will send them first thing in the morning!

If you are still interested in reading along with me, I will happily email you the reading chart...I think you guys would luv it!

ways to start out the new year...

ways to start out the new year...

or rather how i have started out my new year.

- by throwing your back-out at a weight lighting class at the gym, while the instructor kept yelling at you (but actually it's me) to "ride the pony" (could hardly sit down for about 10 days)

- have a secret addiction to valentine's candy and hope no one finds out, except obviously your dentist because you know you are gonna get a cativity

- get a job...YES! im so excited to be heading back to st. mark's hopsital, i start in february and although i will only be working 4 days a month, im happy to get back to helping momma's bring their new little babes into the world!

- bite your tongue (not literally)...but this has saved me over the past couple weeks, think before you talk...it actually works sometimes

- hit your hand hard against your door in your basement because you are so ticked that your house is dirty AGAIN! and possibly leave an indention of your fist...which is a great reminder that you need to chill out sometimes

- quit feeling bad about throwing your hair into a pony...but rather be grateful it is long enough to throw into a pony, invest in a few cute headbands and viola - you are ready to go for the day!

- get a new calling at church...i know it might be hard to believe, but you are actually reading the blog of the new young women's president in my church ward (shock & awe, autographs later or sympathy cards welcomed)...but the truth of the matter is after three weeks i feel really lucky and blessed and excited about it...i have 35 beautifully amazing, fun girls that i get to work with throughout the year and it's gonna be great

- pay down a student loan by 80%, that's sure tomake you feel good :)

- run outside between 2-4pm with the sun shining, just warm enough to let your lungs enjoy that nice, brisk january air, and luv every minute of those beautiful utah mountains

- set a goal, like maybe to read the book: JESUS THE CHRIST, we are doing it this year as a Young Women's...join us, it's going to be an amazing journey!

- go to the byu basketball game vs sdsu and get your own kinda "zumba workout" by jumping up and down, shaking what your momma gave you and being jazzed about some seriously fun basketball to watch (yes that is a life size cut out of jimmer that my dad not only took to the game but all around provo on game day...)

- continuously splash at your mommy when you take a bubble bath while laughing and laughing and laughing and also while causing a big mess(but nobody cares cause your laugh is so cute!)

- get a cold but then still smile for the camera because your mommy makes you fruit smoothies, cuddles you up in your blankie and turns on the dvd that you are currently obsessed with (SHE-RA) and lets you watch it ALL - DAY - LONG

- let this same child come in your bed in the weeee hours of the morning to snuggle and then as she pats your face and tells you she luvs you but then adds "momma, why are your teeth yellow?"...do not take it personal.

- get new glasses...because the school nurse actually was right, you needed them (those dang nurses, always right) but be excited about picking out a cute blue pair that match your beautiful eyes and be proud to tell everyone "just so you know, these make me smarter"

how is your new year starting out...i would luv to hear...do you set new year's resolutions, goals, or adjust schedules or get excited about organization...do you read this blog anymore...have i lost my touch...

i miss alot of you friends and think about you often!

PS! Leave a comment & if you are interested I am giving away 2 copies of JESUS THE CHRIST, along with a reading outline for the year! I will draw 2 names on Tuesday night (February 1st)!

PSS...if you have your own copy of Jesus the Christ and want to follow along, this was the first week of our reading and you should be at page 17! This coming week we are reading to page 34! We will finish our reading December 11th!

i'm not afraid to admit it...

yeah, that's right, i'm not afraid to admit it...admit that as i was taking down christmas decorations, i got all teary eyed. mostly when i started peeling off the cute christmas cards off my cupboards where i post them throughout the month...my eyes were all moist. i can't believe another december has come and gone. i especially luv to hear from all our friends and family and see the special pictures & messages. i know some of you may be thinking, "no she certainly must have been teary eyed because she was CLEANING up the mess & clutter that december sometimes brings into our homes", but if you truly you know me, you know i like to clean (call me Cindy...Relly = Cinderella). the truth is, the christmas spirit is such a special spirit and i hope that it can linger throughout these next 11 months, even if we don't have the tinsel, stockings, christmas nativities, gingerbread houses, candy canes, gift wrapping paper & bows strewn throughout our houses.

we had a great pre-christmas get-together with the kesler's up in blackfoot...we had delicious soup & salad, lots of fun conversation, cousins galore, a late night of zumba up in IF & a drop by visit to my sister-in-law misty's who is due any day with baby #4!, a quick get-a-way to destinations inn for my anniversary & an 80 minute massage (11-years, luv ya cam!), scrumdidliumpsous bundt cakes (cooked by yours truly) - let's just say...they were gone before dinner started :), perfect presents (thanks again marva lu!) and a special family home evening presented by papa kesler himself ("okay kids...lets pretend like you are in church and really try to listen to this message" says the grandpa of 18 grandkids under the age of 8! they really did listen amazingly though!)

christmas eve at the freeze fam...we had such a fun night together...sub sandwiches, chips & dip, our own little sparkling ciders, a great round of "cameron's game", pillowpets & jammies from nanny, classic $10 gift exchange with all the freeze side of the family, some cute presents from mom, and the very traditional reading of the 'night before christmas'...my dad has been doing this same book/audio reading since i was 8 or 9.

"merry christmas to all & to all a good-night!"

looks like we all made the

NICE LIST...

Santy Claus was really good to us this year...

vannah got her american girl doll (complete with many accessories)!

lucy got her snowglobe (if you only knew the obsessions...)

jilly got herself a little rocking chair...

i was also surprised by a beautiful painting by bonnie rochester... santy you shouldn't have, but obviously i am glad you did because i luved it and cried! haha

christmas morning always brings another special tradition and so many memories flood into my heart...my grandpa freeze always felt so grateful for all my grandma did during the month of december and was pretty quick to admit, he didn't do much at all to aid in the hustle and bustle because of his work responsibilities. so to make up for it, every christmas morning he took the family out for lunch/dinner, thus my grandma did not have to cook or worry about cleaning on christmas day. this tradition has continued on throughout the years...as a little girl, i remember hoping to get a special outfit to wear out to lunch and was excited to take one or two of my new presents with me to show my cousins & grandparents. my dad has carried this tradition on, it was great to go out with our family and eat at the marriott. no cooking or cleaning...just great conversation, yummy food, natalie cole playing on the television dad had brought into our private room, planning for the upcoming year, and smiles of relief as we all felt pretty great about pulling another christmas together!

this is one of my favorite pictures of the month...i really do hope the christmas spirit can last with us throughout our 2011 year...here is a great message by Dean Hughes on how to make this possible in your life.

After we put Christmas away…

January is such a great month. It feels downright stimulating to lay off the rich foods, clear the sugar from our veins, work up a sweat on the old stationary bicycle – and feel so righteous about it. January is also that wonderful time when I’ve worn out my desire to go to the mall ever again. Every day that I don’t charge a penny on my credit card, I feel like I’m bringing a healthy balance back to my life & checkbook. (SO much joy for doing so little!). It’s that dark, cold time of the year (at least in the Northern Hemisphere), when we may feel some cabin fever, but sleep comes so naturally. It’s great to go to bed a littler earlier, turn on the electric blanket, and curl up like a big old bear (we’ve even stored up the extra fat to sustain us through the hibernation). I just hope, as we throw out the dried-up Christmas tree and store away all our decorations, that we don’t put away Christmas entirely—that is the best part of Christmas.

We seem to care more for others during the holidays and make special effort to express those feelings with our cards, our greetings, our donations to those who are not as blessed as we are. And then, for some reason, we act almost as though those expressions were part of our over-indulgence, and we seem to withdraw to a spirit that isn’t nearly as generous. It almost seems as though we’re a little embarrassed now, in the cold of winter, for all that warmth we shared. Do we think it got a little too cheesy, a little too over the top? What is we took a treat – a healthy one – to all our neighbors now or in April or September? Would people think we had gotten all weird on them or something? How did we get started with the idea that we should be what we really ought to be in December and then pull back and wait again for eleven months?

I remember a United Way director who said that Americans love to buy turkey for a single mom with kids at Thanksgiving or Christmas, even though she would be helped much more by a case of peanut butter in August – and that’s when no one thinks about her. Interesting. “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem, How still we see thee lie. Above thy deep and dreamless sleep, the silent…” It sounded good, didn’t it? When I was a bishop, I once had our chorister do all Christmas songs during a sacrament meeting in July. I told our members that we always say that we want to keep the spirit of Christmas with us all year, but we won’t work very hard to do it. The songs were just a little reminder. Maybe we should sing them all year.

To celebrate Christ’s birthday, we eat too much and spend too much, and we feel guilty about it. It feels good to return to some austerity. We vow not to get so carried away next year. Suppose we actually did that? Suppose we cut back on some of the eating & spending next year but began right now to spread out the spiritual side of Christmas to every month of our year? It may sound a little too idealistic, but don’t we actually know people who do just that? The fact is, there are those around us who need us every month of the year, and we need them. We also need Christ – his Spirit – with us, always. I think this should be the year we make some changes. Let’s do this year right, and then make next Christmas the fitting conclusion to a year full of kindness & generosity. I’m serious. We can do it.

TROLL tHe ancient YULE tide cARol....

you've got to be NUTS not to LUV this time of year...

if only i could have a taken a picture of the GRISWOLD lights that adorn our house at this time...different colors, mid-strand blinking lights and of course the ever so clever drop from the gutter to the tree and the wrap around (please tell me you are imagining this!). but what is so wonderful about this time of year, is often see through the eyes of children...the imagination, the excitement, the love, the magic, the energy...and i can't get enough of it!

one of the things i luv most about the christmas holiday is sending and receiving christmas cards...i luv to reconnect with friends across the miles who have made an impact on our life...because i really do love and appreciate the value of friendship. we had the chance to go up to Temple Square in Salt Lake yesterday with my college roommate and dear friend, Lindsay. it is so fun to be able to live closer to her...she is a great mother to 3 cute, charming, fun loving, clever, energy packed! boys and i am so lucky to have her as a friend (i think she is pretty lucky to have me to, seeing that i set her up with her husband rion :)! she is also a fantastic photographer! she has been a great friend to me throughout the past 10 years and i have always valued the friend she has been to me...true, FUN, forgiving, happy for me, a cowgirl at heart, understanding, hard working, honest, strong in her faith & testimony of the gospel of jesus christ, and real.

temple square on a saturday, mid-december...um yeah, probably about 30,000 people there BUT the weather was great & the atmosphere was pristine & beautiful.

lucy, vanny & vienn!

we were so glad our friend Summer & her girls came up with us!

lindsay's JACE & my JILL...JACE & JILL!

sisters. vannah & lu.

we had dinner at the spagetti factory at trolley square!

another highlight of the month was our night out to the FESTIVAL of Trees...what an amazing event! Hundreds of gorgeously decorated trees on display for sale - all proceeds go to the Children's Hospital. Some trees sale up to 10's of thousands of dollars. they also having dancing groups performing, singers, events for the kids, food, and beautiful quilts on display as well! thanks emma & linds for introducing us to a december MUST!

talking to one of santa's elves...

the bubble machine...

"and THIS is my aunt linny!"

what else have we been up to in december...

- stuffing our christmas envelopes & mailing out christmas greetings

- celebrating the Advent like it's nobody's business...what a beautiful tradition filled deep with meaning, love, peace, & recollection. i really wanted to start something this year for our family that is an opportunity to daily focus on our Savior...his birth, life, and His Second Coming. the girls have loved the lighting of the advent candles...i complied a family book for the whole month that has different scriptures, quote, questions, activities...it's simple & perfect for our family...we do it anytime during the day - sometimes breakfast or dinner...sometimes mid-day, sometimes we read scriptures, sometimes we talk about topics, like HOPE. we are really excited to be able to grow into this tradition as a family.

- celebrating cam's birthday, a night out a koi & some delicious sushi

- decorating the tree & of course the angel on top...our tree is quite the sight...the ornaments are on the upper half of the tree due to jillian's cute little hands! also we have had to be creative with space & lack there of...hence the stockings tied to the back of our chairs at the dinner table (thanks for the great tip on good morning america!)

- a couple christmas crafts (as crafty as i can be, which is not much!)...the girls & i made a family advent countdown.

- trying not to get daily headaches and avoid total breakdown...yes im in love with christmas but that doesnt mean i am super woman/mom and dont get extremely frazzled, occasionally short with teh girls ("I KNOW SANTA IS WATCHING YOU!!! TRUST ME, "HE" IS!!"), and overeat on all the christmas goodies. but hey, who doesn't luv the holidays!

last, but cetainly not LEAST, we have been doing a little of this as well!!! hope you like the video!

momma said there'd be days like this...

...there'd be days like this, my momma said.

looks comfy doesn't it? i mean who doesn't want to curl up in bed sometimes, throw the pillow over all the worries and just check out for a couple hours! poor little Lu, the candy festives or maybe just life in general, has got her all out of sorts as of late.

yesterday at church, all 36 minutes of it, drained me of what energy i had left from a busy week. cam has to work alot of sunday's and i usually do my best to rush around frantically on sunday mornings, keeping the spirit strong as i play my ipod sunday list and shout at the children & dog above the lyrics...

i knew yesterday was going to be "one of those days" when i ran downstairs in my 3 inch black church high heels to find jilly taste testing some yummy dog food to my aghast...oh yes it got worse...

not noticing she had also spilled the water bowl, i went to snatch her up only to see those beautiful *high heels are so overated* black high heels flying witch like above my head as i slammed on to the nice, cool tile.

gather yourself. you can do this. tight lipped smile, let's go.

onto to sacrament meeting...the tile really had knocked the humility back into me and i knew i could do it today, i wanted to be at church so bad. im eager to meet the new faces in my ward but more than that, i needed to feel the spirit. i needed to belong. things were going rather smoothly when right before the sacrament i noticed lucy had snuck in one of those glow in the dark necklaces from her trick or treat loot. i couldn't have it being twirled about, even if we were back sitting in the chairs. gently explaining, here comes the most important time of our week...here comes our best behavior....i must take the necklace...

oh no. oh no.

it set-in, quickly. limp nooodle. lucy's body lost all proportion. grimaces and snarling. patiently patting her head, bouncing jillian on my lap...i can do this. bread. water. sigh. but here comes the commentary. she just couldn't let it go...i sheepishly "walk" her from the chapel, totting jilly along. savannah stay put...we WILL be right back. back to the back corner of the building we go, i knew in my heart of hearts you could hear her screaming bloody murder for miles. i tried to reason with her for about 7 minutes but my friends, she was too far gone. i wanted to cry.

i kinda wanted to scream too.

life's lessons are profound.

when we think we need something, we sometimes find out,

we need the exact opposite.

when we think all is lost, we need only look into that pair of folded up jeans in the back of the closet, the grocery list IS right where you left it.

when we feel like we need to feel the spirit, we need only to look into the eyes of the ones we love most.

when we feel like we need to belong, we need to remember who we are and who we are becoming in order to be the person that is wanted.

a sweet young woman gathered savannah and my belongings as i packed everyone up and headed back home. lucy slept for 2 and half hours and then came upstairs with a halo "everyone, I AM AWAKE!"

luv to you all.

xoxo

the queen of the nile.