TROLL tHe ancient YULE tide cARol....

you've got to be NUTS not to LUV this time of year...

if only i could have a taken a picture of the GRISWOLD lights that adorn our house at this time...different colors, mid-strand blinking lights and of course the ever so clever drop from the gutter to the tree and the wrap around (please tell me you are imagining this!). but what is so wonderful about this time of year, is often see through the eyes of children...the imagination, the excitement, the love, the magic, the energy...and i can't get enough of it!

one of the things i luv most about the christmas holiday is sending and receiving christmas cards...i luv to reconnect with friends across the miles who have made an impact on our life...because i really do love and appreciate the value of friendship. we had the chance to go up to Temple Square in Salt Lake yesterday with my college roommate and dear friend, Lindsay. it is so fun to be able to live closer to her...she is a great mother to 3 cute, charming, fun loving, clever, energy packed! boys and i am so lucky to have her as a friend (i think she is pretty lucky to have me to, seeing that i set her up with her husband rion :)! she is also a fantastic photographer! she has been a great friend to me throughout the past 10 years and i have always valued the friend she has been to me...true, FUN, forgiving, happy for me, a cowgirl at heart, understanding, hard working, honest, strong in her faith & testimony of the gospel of jesus christ, and real.

temple square on a saturday, mid-december...um yeah, probably about 30,000 people there BUT the weather was great & the atmosphere was pristine & beautiful.

lucy, vanny & vienn!

we were so glad our friend Summer & her girls came up with us!

lindsay's JACE & my JILL...JACE & JILL!

sisters. vannah & lu.

we had dinner at the spagetti factory at trolley square!

another highlight of the month was our night out to the FESTIVAL of Trees...what an amazing event! Hundreds of gorgeously decorated trees on display for sale - all proceeds go to the Children's Hospital. Some trees sale up to 10's of thousands of dollars. they also having dancing groups performing, singers, events for the kids, food, and beautiful quilts on display as well! thanks emma & linds for introducing us to a december MUST!

talking to one of santa's elves...

the bubble machine...

"and THIS is my aunt linny!"

what else have we been up to in december...

- stuffing our christmas envelopes & mailing out christmas greetings

- celebrating the Advent like it's nobody's business...what a beautiful tradition filled deep with meaning, love, peace, & recollection. i really wanted to start something this year for our family that is an opportunity to daily focus on our Savior...his birth, life, and His Second Coming. the girls have loved the lighting of the advent candles...i complied a family book for the whole month that has different scriptures, quote, questions, activities...it's simple & perfect for our family...we do it anytime during the day - sometimes breakfast or dinner...sometimes mid-day, sometimes we read scriptures, sometimes we talk about topics, like HOPE. we are really excited to be able to grow into this tradition as a family.

- celebrating cam's birthday, a night out a koi & some delicious sushi

- decorating the tree & of course the angel on top...our tree is quite the sight...the ornaments are on the upper half of the tree due to jillian's cute little hands! also we have had to be creative with space & lack there of...hence the stockings tied to the back of our chairs at the dinner table (thanks for the great tip on good morning america!)

- a couple christmas crafts (as crafty as i can be, which is not much!)...the girls & i made a family advent countdown.

- trying not to get daily headaches and avoid total breakdown...yes im in love with christmas but that doesnt mean i am super woman/mom and dont get extremely frazzled, occasionally short with teh girls ("I KNOW SANTA IS WATCHING YOU!!! TRUST ME, "HE" IS!!"), and overeat on all the christmas goodies. but hey, who doesn't luv the holidays!

last, but cetainly not LEAST, we have been doing a little of this as well!!! hope you like the video!

momma said there'd be days like this...

...there'd be days like this, my momma said.

looks comfy doesn't it? i mean who doesn't want to curl up in bed sometimes, throw the pillow over all the worries and just check out for a couple hours! poor little Lu, the candy festives or maybe just life in general, has got her all out of sorts as of late.

yesterday at church, all 36 minutes of it, drained me of what energy i had left from a busy week. cam has to work alot of sunday's and i usually do my best to rush around frantically on sunday mornings, keeping the spirit strong as i play my ipod sunday list and shout at the children & dog above the lyrics...

i knew yesterday was going to be "one of those days" when i ran downstairs in my 3 inch black church high heels to find jilly taste testing some yummy dog food to my aghast...oh yes it got worse...

not noticing she had also spilled the water bowl, i went to snatch her up only to see those beautiful *high heels are so overated* black high heels flying witch like above my head as i slammed on to the nice, cool tile.

gather yourself. you can do this. tight lipped smile, let's go.

onto to sacrament meeting...the tile really had knocked the humility back into me and i knew i could do it today, i wanted to be at church so bad. im eager to meet the new faces in my ward but more than that, i needed to feel the spirit. i needed to belong. things were going rather smoothly when right before the sacrament i noticed lucy had snuck in one of those glow in the dark necklaces from her trick or treat loot. i couldn't have it being twirled about, even if we were back sitting in the chairs. gently explaining, here comes the most important time of our week...here comes our best behavior....i must take the necklace...

oh no. oh no.

it set-in, quickly. limp nooodle. lucy's body lost all proportion. grimaces and snarling. patiently patting her head, bouncing jillian on my lap...i can do this. bread. water. sigh. but here comes the commentary. she just couldn't let it go...i sheepishly "walk" her from the chapel, totting jilly along. savannah stay put...we WILL be right back. back to the back corner of the building we go, i knew in my heart of hearts you could hear her screaming bloody murder for miles. i tried to reason with her for about 7 minutes but my friends, she was too far gone. i wanted to cry.

i kinda wanted to scream too.

life's lessons are profound.

when we think we need something, we sometimes find out,

we need the exact opposite.

when we think all is lost, we need only look into that pair of folded up jeans in the back of the closet, the grocery list IS right where you left it.

when we feel like we need to feel the spirit, we need only to look into the eyes of the ones we love most.

when we feel like we need to belong, we need to remember who we are and who we are becoming in order to be the person that is wanted.

a sweet young woman gathered savannah and my belongings as i packed everyone up and headed back home. lucy slept for 2 and half hours and then came upstairs with a halo "everyone, I AM AWAKE!"

luv to you all.

xoxo

the queen of the nile.

c'mon, tell me you will read this one...

okay, my peeps...who is ready for fall?

i'm actually really excited about it...

the cool brisk air, the beautiful fall colors.

ALL the "S"'s...Sweaters, Soup, quilting SHOP hop, the Scent, Special holidays, Solitude on rainy / cold days...that at times feels so needed after a busy summer.

want to know what else i'm excited about? c'mon i know you do...

!!!eXcITEd about!!!

~ cameron is finally in utah! i survived, my children survived :) life is good!

~ i finally feel like we are into a good routine here...

school is going great for the girls & savannah is luving her swim team & lucy is a hoot in her gymnastics class.

~ jillian is talking more everyday and her big wet open mouth kisses

are too cute and i'm pretty much in luv with her.

~ hiking to the Y in provo...i don't know why i luv it so much but i do...

and its especially awesome because i hike it with my friend summer,

who is a super great friend.

~ my reward chart for the girls...it's working,

it was easy as pie to "create", and the girls are into it!

~ salsa. i just luv it. and my wonderful neighbors have been giving me fresh tomatoes from thier gardens & it just makes it that much better.

~ my friend JEN is coming down from wyoming to take our family pictures...we haven't had them taken for 3 years...so its time & im excited.

~ after having knee pain since july, i finally got an mri & found the problem...the treatment has helped so much already & i had a couple early morning jogs that were priceless.

~ i've finally committed to relaxing / chilling out / taking it down a notch / don't give yourself a migraine....i won't go into details, but it includes me not being overly obsessed and worried about some of the following: the amount of homework my 1st grader is doing, book covers being torn into pieces, our dog taking off and roaming the neighborhood, snails all over my back porch - don't get me started - remember the commitment, cameron's stinky feet (i just threw this one in there in case he reads this & also to give you guys a good laugh...please tell me someone else has this problem...), lucy begging for snacks 5 minutes after breakfast 5 minutes after lunch & you guessed it...5 minutes after dinner, laundry, desperately wanting to potty train my 17 month old cause the dirty diapers are killing me one at a time, buying things at the store if i really want / need them so as to not cause myself pain by having to return to the store & they are no longer there - just buy it the FIRST time!

and im excited about it.

just to name a few.

WHAT ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT RIGHT NOW???

oh! and in regards to my post title:

"c'mon tell me you will read this one..."

it had nothing to do with this actual post :)

THIS IS WHAT I WANT YOU TO READ,

right HERE or HERE

tell me you luv it, cause i do!

i also luv this

and this

*pics courtesy of my sweet cousin, who my girls luv, miss Kay-Kay!

4 and a wedding...

being 4 is a tough job...but lucy lu does it pretty well!

we had a super great time celebrating lucy's 4th birthday at her favorite...

Chuck-E-Cheese!

there is really so much to love about Lucy...

which was evident at her little party...

~ The way she held her arms out to embrace "her Chuck-E"...she is a loving little girl, with a big heart and her loyalty at such a young age is amazing.

~ Her reaction to all her gifts...it was like everyone brought her little pieces of gold...she luved them all! She is a grateful little girl

~ The way she ran from game to game...playing golden coin after golden coin...she is a very independent little girl. Strong willed & determined. Which at times, leaves me exhausted and frustrated, but at other times...makes me smile, laugh, and sit back in awe as her little body & mind seem to walk, talk, and interpret beyond her years.

~ Holding my hand. She is loving. She is tender...sneaking into my bed in the early morning hours to put her hands up around my face..."are you awake mommy...cause I luv you."

~ She is social...she luvs her cousins & her friends. She is the first to say "what is your name?" the first to say "you look real pretty" the first to say "want to be my friend" and she is usually pretty quick to say "im sorry"

~ at her birthday breakfast...she is patient. the day before we were at target shopping and she was patiently making her way through target with her slurpee & popcorn as i was picking up some needed things. along the way, she picked up this giraffe, elephant, and snake to entertain herself. as we arrived at the checkout, i quickly informed her to "put those back now!" without hesitation, she took one last long look, placed them on the end of the checkout isle, patted all their little heads and didn't say another thing. it made me stop and pause and think about my little lu. as the "second" child, she often has to be patient in ways that i forget about it. running savannah to school and events, then changing diapers and feeding jillian. and all along the way, she is there with me...being very patient. of course she is 4, and she has melt downs & outburst...but if i pause to think about it, i can think of the many patient times she has had with me, that greatly out weigh the others. *as she opened these gifts at her birthday breakfast, she saw the first glimpse...then she herself paused...and said "No you didnt!" LOL!

~ Adventurous! Happy Birthday Lucy Lu, we luv you!!!

and a wedding...my sister jessica got married this past weekend in denver, it was great to be together and help her celebrate! we threw a surprise bridal shower / luncheon for her...

"something blue"

congrats mrs. jessica northrop

we had a great weekend get-a-way...the girls went up to idaho for the weekend and we took jillian with us to denver. i pulled cameron away from denver :),

it's official...

we are both in utah for good!

gotta luv, a little luv at weddings...

colorful...elevated

i have said a few times over the past few weeks, it would have been really easy moving if the place you lived was kinda crummy...but we really have luved so much about colorado. it is, of course, the state that brought cam & i together...where we met over on the western slope in grand junction at mesa state college. colorado has been "colorful"...it has given us opportunities and beautiful memories that we will always hold near and dear.

i will miss my sister, jessica, and my sweet mo-jo and beau-beau man!

cousins...forever friends!

here's to a new chapter..."life elevated!"

my dad said it perfectly when we arrived in utah..."who says you can't come home?!" after 12 years, it's an amazing, peaceful feeling to be back closer to more of my family and closer to cam's family. we are renting a little house in highland...it's on a half acre and the girls & dog are luving it! the house needed a little cleaning, plug-in's :), and personal touch and cam & i were in awe as our family out did themselves...cleaning blinds, hanging pictures, moving boxes, lining cabinets, helping me purchase washer & dryers (since cam had to go back to colorado for the rest of the month), my aunt dani came and whipped me up some beautiful drapes, and my uncle johnny went room to room changing out light fixtures that my dad bought for us to brighten things up! not to mention neighbors that brought me dinner, fresh sour dough bread, zucchini bread, open access to their trampolines & cats to play with, and instant neighbor friends for my girls! im missing cam, but im luving that i can walk 5 blocks to my sister emily's and my sister lindsey & mom are less than 10 minutes away...plus i have my handy dad, my second husbands - lol - my fab brother in laws, matty & chris. i luv you guys. thanks a million!

jilly helping aunt dani :)

somebody thinks she is the bomb.com!

riding the bus, is awesome!!!

vanny walking to the bus with her new friends...

thrilled!

additional highlights...jilly is making the transition from her famous and laughable bear walk...to actually walking on her own!

go jilly! go! she is taking about 10-15 steps and cheering for herself as she goes!

the girls are luving being back into their school routines...we made some fun reward charts..the girls are jazzed about the possibilities of earning quarters, ring pops, and trips to the dollar store!

the brink...

i've been thinking about writing this post for a couple weeks now. a high school friend of mine just turned 30 and we exchanged a couple emails around her birthday. we all have up's and down's in life and i don't think she would mind me telling you, she used the phrase "on the brink"...i couldn't let it go and i emailed her back about a couple things, i was "on the brink" about. its been in the back of my mind, almost daily, "what brink am i on today?" and then after a couple recent interactions with friends and acquaintances, i started wondering "what brink are they on?" ...because sometimes in life we interact with people and we really have no idea what they are going through. it may be your next door neighbor, friend at work, sister, the person who seems to have it "all figured out", the lady who told you off at the grocery store, or the guy who just bought your bedset and while taking it apart, cracked it. but the truth is we all deal with brinks, some more publicly than others. i'm so grateful for family, friends, and even strangers who have loved me and understood me as i have gone through different "brinks". not saying that brinks have to be hard times...they can be an assortment of phases of our lives...but i love hearing, sharing, and understanding these brinks because i believe it gives us a better understanding of each other...better opportunities to support each other through both the high's and low's...better moments for us to realize we are never alone in this life and there are people all around us who can relate to us, laugh with us, and empathize with us.

what brink have you been on lately?

if you only knew the brink of this story...

im on the brink of pure happiness as savannah started first grade! yeah she is growing up, i mean her teeth are falling out like the hair on the heads of boys who thought they were cool in high school, quickly! but i love to see her thriving, growing, intensely learning and becoming her own little person.

im on the brink of luving this little chicka so much, i seriously want her duplicated! does that mean i am baby hungry? yes, maybe, no, of course not, is this even your business...okay maybe a little...good thing jilly still has those chubby baby thighs which has been plenty to suffice my appetite but practically kill my back because she is 15 months and still not walking

(but she bear crawls like a champ and it's comical!).

im on the brink of not knowing what to do with lucy, starting around, um...9:05 a.m. monday - friday after Savannah heads off for school. she can hardly stand to be away from her big sister and lucy asks me about every 15 minutes when she is getting home...ive been trying to put together a few activities for her and the other day, she put it nicely

"this is real boring you know!"...

im on the brink of excitement/anxiety/nervous breakdown/awesomeness as i think about moving and living closer to those beautiful utah mountains and to my family! how cool is my sister emily's new basketball hoop! our house here in denver is "sold", under contract, inspection on tuesday, and so things seem to be moving quickly. we are lucky to be able to have cam's company moving us out there but i have still had to go through all of our things...who wants to pack junk and then unpack junk just to throw it away in a different state? so its been great to go through and really simplfy but i am wearing myself thin and possibly losing my mind a bit...my sweet friend mindy came over the other night to help me "go-through" the kitchen stuff and when she put her foot down on my keeping several (many) plastic target fountain drink cups that i save, i knew i had lost it a little bit, so i turned over the reins to hers truly! thanks so much for your help mindy...

(but seriously mindy, "who doesn't love target?")!

im on the brink of wanting to give myself a break, crazy right? lately i just find myself, like i am sure MANY of you, trying to do a "million" things and be a "million" things to a "million" different people. i had a super fantastic time doing another olympic tri with my little sister lindsey a few weeks ago here in denver, but i am ready to veg out a little. im ready to say, "look body i luv ya...yeah you may not be perfect but you look pretty darn good and so does that couch over there". i vow not to do another race or event until i get my family settled in utah and the holidays pass. maybe a half marathon in January?

Brinks, anyone?